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I barely know you, it makes me angry, that you, this stranger, sees through me.
I am hurt, I’m bitter, burned down to ash and the fact that you see through my veiled words, my sorrowful eyes and my sarcastic quips makes me sorrier and sadder than before.
Where were all of you When I need a friend Where were you when there was me and the great blue sky, no Malibu no passages, or beatific lies to otherwise explain my ruins, fuck it man, Where were you?
Because I could use you now, just to remember what it was like when we were kids and I was OG, and walking through Palms, was
enough to protect me, and the man who loved me…

Ash

I’ll never nervously wait for you to answer the door again, or come back around when I think you’re up.
I’m down, reduced to ash, it fills my mouth, bitter, unable to spit, or remove this annoyance from my lips, stunned in silence, you’ve won.
Was I drunk?  I can’t remember.
Were you there?  I didn’t see you in the crowd, didn’t hear your voice guiding me the way it had once so many years ago, sanctuary was lost, paradise soon to follow, nothing left, nothing left but estranged memories, at the tips of my fingers, burning edges of postcards staring at the retard on the bus, he makes more sense than either of us.
I changed my password. You might be able to hack me now.


Quality Hill

Wednesday 
All eyes, cicada, whispering leaves, branches reaching to the very tips of fingers  to one another,  pulled back  by the wind, lover, oh lover.
Awkwardly musing, she laughs like a champagne cork to his every slanted sense  of humor,  loud and gushing,  under thumb, shocking, slipping- sinking in, all bubbles like city lights on a hill in the unfamiliar dark even fireworks she thinks, why not? Skies the limit to imagination.
Muzzled morning, two fisted hot and cold, parting in the alley way with dirty jokes "you owe me one..." she laughs  walks past puddles, he tells her to "go buy some shoes lady..." as he heads into the bar,  beer soaked, worn down wood, music  switched on, and the slow-cook warming up the oil for the  fries.

Dear Bubba

You let me down Bubba. I see you in passing clouds, like the ink blots, no storm, just that hot muggy feeling  and familiar distance.
I followed your weather map.  It took me to the desert and I was among the heat and junipers.  Alone.
I would have quit smoking, drinking and even waited at the DMV for you.  Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the back porch here, in Kansas City, drinking a tall can of PBR, smoking a clove at dusk - I might even be glad I didn't.



Conventional

Save, don’t save, cancel. What do you want from me now?
I hate this late night bullshit Where I stare at your pictures, constantly checking my phone in case you say something profound, more important, or even validate me and my drunken pride.  Moreover, I wish I had the strength to say fuck you, but I’ve had too many shots, too many weaving moments between lines, head out the window, to see in between, maybe I can go straight now, without you, what’s the point of being fucked up?
She threw dice, he laughed, no luck, hey ace?
You’ve left me to become a cocktail waitress at a convention hotel again, you were the one who said, can’t we just be friends?
I slip the napkin under
the glass, fuck you too.

Let me replace it

I’d take down the world for you lay down, stand up, scream, anything, for you.
You can’t bottle the shame, I can’t drink it either, but I’ll try just the same. I’ve forgotten who I am to be near you, to just hear your voice, I had nothing, I had no winning for losing, what kind of life is that, who gives a fuck about choice?
Tell me – who are you now? In love with someone else? Feeling oh so powerful, strong arm me, down to nothing… feel good now?
Do you ever see me in that lonely mirror? Do you ever feel my breasts on your back?  Arms around you?
Of course not, What kind of a fool was I?

one of us - speed freaks and junkies

Shh. Hold your fire. Put that serotonin back where you found it!
We walk the medicine cabinet stumble. You are all glass shelves, shattering in the sink, stabbing the bottoms of my feet. Damn it man, you’ve got a clumsy distribution system!
He shakes the bottle, the old Venice mating call… and I am out on the tiles, embedded by splintered shards of glass.
I’ve been begging someone to remove this pain, pet me and make me human again but everyone’s afraid of the thorn in the lions paw.
Daniel, where did you go?
You could have tamed me but you left me for dead, and, well, that’s quite alright, I suppose.
How ‘bout it… Move that rock Jesus, we got places to go and it’s been three days, time to get out of this dark cave, it's lookin' like a crack house.
They told me you were a junkie, that you had nothing for me.
I thought I was at the circus when I saw the monkeys and short of a miracle, nothing was going to save me.
I was part of the carnival, the one wise to the grift, staring out of the corner of my eye, mak…