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Dear Bubba

You let me down Bubba.
I see you in passing clouds, like the ink blots,
no storm, just that hot muggy feeling 
and familiar distance.

I followed your weather map.  It took me to the desert and I was among the heat and junipers.  Alone.

I would have quit smoking, drinking and even waited at the DMV for you.  Sometimes, when I'm sitting on the back porch here, in Kansas City, drinking a tall can of PBR, smoking a clove at dusk - I might even be glad I didn't.




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Diaspora

Expelled, feeling
scattered among the debris, your arrogance waves in the breeze a distinct fashion around your neck, choking on sexy while you wander across between and through  as if direction was misguided to meet you, Swim the channels while I am too drunk to stalk old familiar, I wonder if you know the taste now, bitter but similar? Your memory lingers without a home, the water runs cold until it boils, your skin burns  rashes red and fleets jaundice, after forced departure I wonder, will you ever migrate in my window again? Sing like the bluebird you  promised me every Christmas  but drunkenly knocked off the branches of the tree? Accidentally smashing  the tiny bit of hope  merely decorated  for you and me.

Wishes to Dreams

I waited for so long I forgot to walk.
I dreamed of you so many nights, the mornings were hung-over blue, and the night dragged stars against the sky like candles flickering my arms all wax, eyes closed, breathing out you, you, you 
And when you appeared it was such a far cry  I was so small in comparison, minimal to you and seen so very minuscule and you were wingspan stretched, untouchable and my hands trembled near
I cried the entire night it ended, wondering why you ever came here.
You trespassed I wanted to say, the words however present failed my lips, and only reached the tears filling up the corners of the room and slipping down the walls, I dreamed this so differently, every second has betrayed 
me.

one of us - speed freaks and junkies

Shh. Hold your fire. Put that serotonin back where you found it!
We walk the medicine cabinet stumble. You are all glass shelves, shattering in the sink, stabbing the bottoms of my feet. Damn it man, you’ve got a clumsy distribution system!
He shakes the bottle, the old Venice mating call… and I am out on the tiles, embedded by splintered shards of glass.
I’ve been begging someone to remove this pain, pet me and make me human again but everyone’s afraid of the thorn in the lions paw.
Daniel, where did you go?
You could have tamed me but you left me for dead, and, well, that’s quite alright, I suppose.
How ‘bout it… Move that rock Jesus, we got places to go and it’s been three days, time to get out of this dark cave, it's lookin' like a crack house.
They told me you were a junkie, that you had nothing for me.
I thought I was at the circus when I saw the monkeys and short of a miracle, nothing was going to save me.
I was part of the carnival, the one wise to the grift, staring out of the corner of my eye, mak…